This insanity within me, doomed
by years of self-hatred, fumes
out stygian disputes in every room.
If I could bite out my own tongue
and take back those words I flung
as I tumbled down your ladder rung….

Tears washed out, emcumbered thought inward turns.
Am I so lost to kindness that I spurn
the same friendship for which I yearn?
Your replies put me to shame
for my tempestuous responses are to blame
yet I fear the result would be the same…..

My anger fattens on pernicious self-hate
an unsolicited, pitiable estranged state!
Perhaps…someday…you will relate
and forgive my deleterious faults
when I, with impulsivity halted,
tirelessly re-stock our friendship vault.

Now bereft from redolent friendship, so hard won!
I would gladly eat those words, that foul dung,
for I am lost in this haze of shunned
scorn! How can that blasted sun
shine with fiery joy that duns
my squeezing heart, heavily stunned…..

                           ∼ 〈 ◊ 〉∼

We have all lost friends from tempestuous words hastily said….