When darkness flees the break of dawn
tumbled mind flies in turbulent flight.
Hyper-awake, wide-eyed with bankrupt yawns;
dream-deserted in unshrouded night.
If I could hold at bay this overworked pawn
and let ruminations take welcomed flight!
But I am doomed to this daily mourn….
my early bird, Groundhog Day blight.
• ≈ ♦ ≈ •
Without medication, I sleep 4-5 hours then I wake up suddenly with a white hot brain. So bright I can actually see white flashes and feel the hyperactivity in my frontal cortex. It is a very uncomfortable, fatiguing experience, and one that I wish would end. My psychiatrist says I must continue with Clonazapam as I have an unfortunate side effect of bipolar disorder–racing thoughts that I cant control. I don’t get rest on the best of nights due to fibromyalgia and sleep apnea, and the racing thoughts are just another chip in my fragile ice. I fear that someday I shall break from the strain of constant medical symptoms.
In order to protect my son from his own stupidity, I have resorted to a biometric safe for my medications. My home is not a safe place for a drug abuser with all the medications that I take for my various medical conditions. I worry constantly that he will get into one of them and over dose by accident, as he has in the past.