Failure (Senryu)

Smeared with failures’ dung

dashed power of one

my castrated life

                                                                           ∼ ∞ ∼

I am embalmed in a bit of self pity right now as it appears that my career as a nurse is over due to ill health.  Nursing is a field not friendly to health problems and limitations.  

Senryu: same as Haiku structure but the theme is generally related to feelings or relationships while Haiku stresses nature

faiLURE (free verse)

Monument of success

you stand aloof

taunting me to stay away

like a recurrent dream

remembered at the very scene

where I cut you off

yet again and again replay…..

If I could discard this iron chain–

this failure

and, like its’ name

LURE it into a sulfurous pit

my mind’s disquiet would regress

and I would seek what I now avoid.

No more would failure’s distress

LURE ME into a vacuous void

full of sighs and one word….QUIT

I am very upset with myself.  I have had intense anxiety since my dad died and have allowed it to stop me from trying something new.  I feel like a failure for allowing it to control my life.  I need to take control back.  I need confidence that life will be ok without him.  I need to let go of my fears and embrace trying something new with a feeling of anticipation and not dread.

Picture: fotado.pl