Catharsis (Fibonacci)

Vile

dart.

Piercing

hindsight thoughts

bring anguish and grief.

Remove this Vile Thing from my brain!

Memories flow out with arterial bleeding;

Flushed out with unconstipated relief, as catharsis regains hold on reality.

Sometimes I find that memories elicit visceral feelings so images of bleeding and constipation feel rather fitting.

 

Fibonacci:  a non-rhyming poem structured with the Fibonacci sequence (0 or 1, 1, 2, 3, 5 etc).  Fibonacci sequence is adding the two prior numbers together to get the new number.   If one starts at “zero” then the first two lines are single syllable. Most poems stop at 13 syllables for the last line.  

Insomnia Lament

When darkness flees the break of dawn

tumbled mind flies in turbulent flight.

Hyper-awake, wide-eyed with bankrupt yawns;

dream-deserted in unshrouded night.

If I could hold at bay this overworked pawn

and let ruminations take welcomed flight!

But I am doomed to this daily mourn….

my early bird, Groundhog Day blight.

• ≈ ♦ ≈ •

Without medication, I sleep 4-5 hours then I wake up suddenly with a white hot brain.  So bright I can actually see white flashes and feel the hyperactivity in my frontal cortex. It is a very uncomfortable, fatiguing experience, and one that I wish would end.  My psychiatrist says I must continue with Clonazapam as I have an unfortunate side effect of bipolar disorder–racing thoughts that  I cant control.  I don’t get rest on the best of nights due to fibromyalgia and sleep apnea, and the racing thoughts are just another chip in my fragile ice.  I fear that someday I shall break from the strain of constant medical symptoms.

In order to protect my son from his own stupidity, I have resorted to a biometric safe for my medications.  My home is not a safe place for a drug abuser with all the medications that I take for my various medical conditions.  I worry constantly that he will get into one of them and over dose by accident, as he has in the past.